The Science Behind Why We Fall in Love

The Science of Attraction and Chemistry

This article seeks to provide a fun and entertaining vision of chemistry, essentially as simple and wonderful as something that happens to us all at some point in life: love!

Poets have delighted us by singing about the most wonderful feelings from all angles and with infinite shades, but chemists also have things to say about it—perhaps less alluring, but no less important.

The Psychological Blueprint of Love

Why do we fall for a particular person and not another? Numerous psychological investigations demonstrate the decisiveness of childhood memories, both conscious and unconscious. The so-called correspondence theory can be summarized in the phrase: "Everyone is seeking a partner they think they deserve."

It seems that before a person is fixed on another, they have already built a mental map—a cast full of brain circuits that determine what will make you fall in love with one person and not another. Sexologist John Money believes that children develop these maps between 5 and 8 years of age as a result of interactions with family members, friends, experiences, and random events. So, before true love knocks on our door, the subject has already developed the essential features of the ideal person to love.

The Biological Cascade of Infatuation

The "chemistry of love" is a literal expression. In the cascade of emotional reactions, there is electricity (neuronal firings) and there is chemistry (hormones and other substances involved). These are what make a passionate love life feel out of control, and they account for many of the signs of infatuation.

When we find the desired person, it triggers an alarm, and then your body begins to boil. The nervous system sends messages to the hypothalamus, which orders different glands in the body—specifically the adrenal glands—to immediately increase the production of adrenaline and norepinephrine (neurotransmitters that allow nerve cells to communicate with each other).

Physical Effects of Falling in Love

Its effects are noticed at once:

• The heart beats faster (reaching up to 130 beats per minute).
• Systolic blood pressure (what we call the maximum) rises.
• Fats and sugars are released to increase muscle capacity.
• More red blood cells are generated in order to improve the transport of oxygen through the bloodstream.