Apartment Cleaning Intervention: A Sibling's Plea

Man: Hey, Megan. Come on in. Take a seat... uh, somewhere.

The Apartment Cleaning Intervention

A Home in Disarray

Woman: Whoa. This place is a disaster and the smell!

Man: It's... Ah. [Sniff, sniff]. Ah, it's not so bad.

Woman: Yes, it is. It's terrible.

Man: Ah, come on.

Woman: No, look. There are pizza boxes all over the floor.

Man: Do you need a piece?

Woman: Wait! I think that (pizza) company's been closed... about two months ago... for health reasons. Stains on the carpet from who knows what. Say goodbye to your deposit. I'm... I'm not even going into the bathroom. And, what is that smell?

Man: What smell? Wait... what! Ah!

Woman: Uh... What is in your garbage? This milk is curdled. How long has it been in there? Are you trying to develop intelligent life? I mean, it looks like you're trying to build a civilization in there?

Man: It's... it's not so bad.

Proposing Professional Cleaning

Woman: You keep saying that. Do you need to hire a housecleaning service?

Man: A what?

Woman: Yes. A cleaning service. [Cleaning service?] You know my friend. She has... she has her own company. They'll come to your apartment and clean everything from top to bottom, including:

• Your carpet (which certainly needs it!)
• Dusting your furniture
• Sweeping and mopping
• Cleaning your blinds (not that you'd notice)
• Closets and appliances

Addressing the Cost and Sibling's Ultimatum

Man: That... that... that sounds expensive. I... I... I don't think I can afford that.

Woman: They... they usually send out teams of two people, but for you, they're going to need a whole HazMat (hazardous materials) crew.

Man: Well, how much?

Woman: They usually charge $30 an hour.

Man: THIRTY DOLLARS!?!? Whoa!!!! That's expensive.

Woman: But it's going to be more for you, I'm sure.

Man: Whoa! That's expensive.

Woman: Look. You always tell me you don't have friends... I can see why. Give them a try. Look, I can get you a discount. Okay, you can't keep living like this.

Man: Oh, well, Sis. Do you have time? Maybe you could...

Woman: No, no! In fact, I remember I have to be somewhere.

Man: Oh, okay. What's their number?

Woman: I'll... I'll text it to you later. Goodbye.

Man: All right. Bye.