Mister Cellophane: Amos Hart's Song of Neglect and Invisibility

Mister Cellophane: The Song of Invisibility

Amos Hart's Performance from Chicago

If someone stood up in a crowd,
And raised his voice up way out loud,
And waved his arm and shook his leg,
You'd notice him.

If someone in a movie show,
Yelled "Fire in the second row,
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him.

And even without clucking like a hen,
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be:
Invisible, inconsequential me!

The Cellophane Identity

Cellophane, Mister Cellophane,
Should've been my name, Mister Cellophane.
'Cause you can look right through me,
Walk right by me,
And never know I'm there...

I tell ya:
Cellophane, Mister Cellophane,
Should've been my name, Mister Cellophane.
'Cause you can look right through me,
Walk right by me,
And never know I'm there...

Dialogue: The Unseen Husband

Amos: Oh, Andy, I didn't see you there.

Amos: Amos, my name is Amos. Who said it wasn't?

Amos: It's the kid's name I'm thinking about.

Amos: What kid? Roxie's kid...

Amos: You know when she's due? Early fall. September.

Amos: Can you count? September. Well, that doesn't figure out right. I couldn't be the father.

Amos: Divorce you, is that what you said? Oh my God, man. You wouldn't divorce her over a little thing like that, would you?

Amos: You're damn right. That's what I'll do. I'll divorce her. She probably won't even notice.

Amos: You still here, Andy? I thought you'd gone.

Amos: Yeah, I'm still here, I think.

The Second Stanza of Neglect

Suppose you were a little cat,
Residing in a person's flat,
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him.

Suppose you were a woman, wed,
And sleeping in a double bed,
Beside one man, for seven years?
You'd notice him.

A human being's made of more than air;
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there.

Unless that human being next to you,
Is unimpressive, undistinguished...
You know who...

The Final Plea

Should've been my name, Mister Cellophane.
'Cause you can look right through me,
Walk right by me,
And never know I'm there...

I tell ya:
Cellophane, Mister Cellophane,
Should've been my name, Mister Cellophane.
'Cause you can look right through me,
Walk right by me,
And never know I'm there.
Never even know I'm there.

Closing Remark

Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.