Young Love's Hurdles: Timing, Self-Doubt & Missed Chances
Rbk's Thoughts (0:55)
Do not fool yourself; you have chosen not to kiss me. If you had really wanted to, at any time, you could have caught me. You would have waited until there was no one and kissed me. I wouldn't have turned my face away... but nothing happened...
Rbk's Thoughts (0:57)
You know, the first year I was there, I came eager to keep talking to you. So much so that my mother asked yours for your phone number. The second year, I was super, super sad. You can't imagine how much I missed you. And this third year, I guess I was disappointed. It wasn't your idea of a weekend or mine (I guess the dynamic was good now, right?). But it has gone well, and we learned something good: you learned who I really was, not like you thought, and I learned I'll never be able to have anything with you. When I want to, you pass, and vice versa.
Yesterday, talking to my best friend (with whom I talked most of the time), I promised that if I got upset this time with you, it wouldn't happen anymore; it would be the last time. And yes, I wanted to live in the moment, but you, not with your 20 friends around all day... but now this...
Rbk's Thoughts (0:58)
I know at some point you and I are going to be together, and it's going to be amazing, but not now. I'll tell you (trust me), I have a bunch of problems with my body. There are many things I hate about it. My best friend is someone who helps me not notice that I don't like my body in the day-to-day, and besides that...
In fact, Sergio is the only one who knows this and about the parties (and that I am great, like, I'm like caviar, which is good, but you can like it or not. I'm fine and I'm pretty enough, now you can love me or not (metaphor), but I don't know...).
Rbk's Thoughts (0:59)
But look, you're 17 years old and I'm 15, and I think we've reached the same point: you with your girls and I with Sergio. But to get to that, Sergio has been the only one (of all the boys who have gone through my life) that has made me not care about those parts of my body, and it has taken nearly 2 years.
Rbk's Thoughts (1:00)
This anger is slowly changing, and I'm forgetting all that I don't like, but you're not going to be waiting for me to gain the confidence to get to where it is needed... you understand? I mean, you're on another level. I don't know what you want.